College, My Kid and a Low Carb Crunchy Chicken Recipe

In my college years,I studied anthropology with a focus on evolutionary biology and forensics. My minor: planning , public policy and management, has kept me employed my whole life ( thank you ).
What fascinated me about evolutionary biology is that as a species, we really are not very advanced. Oh we put up a great show but as this last round of politics has shown, our reptilian brain collectively is in survival mode for both teams. As a collective we are only 200,000 years old give or take, with our ancestors being 6 million years old . In the span of life, that's a drop in the primordial ooze bucket. 

Hunters and gatherers became agricultural and fixed. As we have progressed our food has become more factory and less food. We have fake liquid eggs because somehow we have convinced ourselves that the  all mighty General Mills could make it better than God and nature.Eggs are a rich source of complete, high-quality protein and essential amino acids. These acids are the building blocks of protein which is used to make nearly every tissue and organ: bones, skin, hair, digestive tract, enzymes, blood cells, antibodies, other immune cells. It also contains 14 essential nutrients needed for normal growth, development and repair. Before big factory inhumane hen houses you popped over to the coop for a few extra eggs as needed. I love the trend back to grass feed, pastured, small batch , local farms.  I am Ok eating meat but I do buy local and grass fed when I can because if an animal is dying for me, I want it to have a happy life and to lose its life as quickly as humanly as possible.

The reason I share these thoughts is a recent dream encounter with my child. For those who have loved ones visit in your sleep, you know that feeling of not just dreaming about them but having them come through the veil. Last time my son did I was really sick sleeping off a low blood sugar that for 3 hours I could not get about 59. Michael, I told him, I am so tired. Mom he said it's ok, I am ok, but it's time for you to get it together.That smarmy grin and wave, then just a flash of light. With each death this year, while I have not been depressed, I have not been engaged and my health has suffered majorly. My body is not right now a temple but an alley with back lit shady cock fights. Not good. For the mom who packed  my teens lunch every day in high school and college so he had healthy choices, I am failing myself on an epic level.

So I thought back to my healthier body. It was in my mid 20's . Real food , lower cards, lots of  veggies. Walks, hikes, swims and daily sunshine. Play. Community . It's time for me to get me back, health wise and give the gift of nutrition and movement I always wanted kiddo to have. So going back to it those younger years before my mistress was Jenny Craig ,Weight Watchers or the belief of any quick fix out there. When I used science and intuition to feed my body what it needed, to make it move the way it felt good. 

So I pulled out an old favorite from back then and made it tonight, made me smile, made me let kiddo know mom will be ok.  

Crunch Chicken with  Spinach and Kale ( keto friendly, paleo friendly, gluten free for those interested) 

1 pack of chicken tenders  6-8 

I cup pork rinds ( love Epic Bars BBQ rinds)

1 tsp coconut flour

1/2 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp garlic

1/2 smoked paprika

1/4 tsp sriracha powder ( can substitute  cayenne) 

1 egg whisked with 5 tsps water

Take your pork rinds and all spices and either pulse in food processor until it looks like bread crumbs or for stress therapy ( I highly recommend) use a baggie and a meat mallet .

Coat tenders in egg then dust and drop into a pan with about 1/2 oil (  faves are better oils with high smoke points : avocado or peanut ( not for paleo peeps) 

Cook on both sides for 3-4 minutes until crunchy and brown , place on wire rack with towel under it to shake off any excess oil.

For greens 

3 cups spinach

2 cups Kale 

2 tsp sesame seeds 

nutmeg and lemon to taste

in frying pan heat  3 tsps of coconut oil or ghee ( I love ghee , other story lol) quickly pan toast 2 tsps sesame seeds .Sesame seeds are full of calcium, magnesium, copper, vitamin B1, zinc and dietary fiber. They offer the most nutritional value when the entire seed is used (un-hulled). Whole sesame seeds contain about 88 mg of calcium per tablespoon of seeds. Skim milk has about 300 mg , so 3 tps of great flavor can add bioavailable calcium , cool huh. Thank you vegan buddies for sharing this tip.

Add greens and cook until wilted but not soggy mess. add nutmeg and  squeeze a fresh lemon over the lot and enjoy.

The chicken is 2-3 tenders per person  , greens galore and add a a mixed green salad with other veggies and yummy. 

leftovers yum

How to be thankful 166 days in

Michael with Grandma and Papa, First Thanksgiving 2013.

166. That's the number of days since I last saw my son in flesh and blood.166 days ago I woke up to Mike stumbling about getting dressed, heading out to friends and then his sisters. Basketball shorts, Simpsons Tee, Hoodie from Mexico from Grandma. So excited becasue in 2 weeks he was gearing up to do a medical training program for a year that would give him an edge to nursing school. To be an ER nurse or work with places like Mercy Corp,. A person who wanted to run and give help in places of the world others were fleeing from. 166 days ago your singsong voice , head on my shoulder , coquettish batting eyes., "mom could we run to the market and get breakfast"For all the moms you know we meant me. But I had time before work so coffee  for me and a bean burrito and ice tea for kiddo. A hug , love you , will call you if I stay over at my sisters or friends tonight.\

Dad called later asking me to come home, saying he needed me. I asked if he was ok and he said yes just come home, I asked if you were ok , no answer. That was the first pit drop in my stomach. I texted and called you, no answer, second pit drop. In all honestly kiddo I thought there was an accident that dad was having me come home to go to the hospital or that you were home shaken with a wrecked car. I never expected the next time I saw you , the mortuary would be letting me in. I have talked with others who have lost and shared this same phenomenon , I was insane , I needed on my whole core of self to get to you. I remember very few clear details, grandma coming in with me , her sharp intake of breathe and her saying Oh Michael. I just remember holding you , stroking your hair, kissing your eyes . I saw the injuries they tried to hide from me , the damage . Someone spared us something kiddo some mercy. I felt your injuries, sadly due to social media I say the car. Somehow kiddo there were no injuries save a small bruise to your face. You were recognizable. Baby if you had to go back to God , I am thankful that it was without a doubt instantaneous.166 days ago I was thankful that my baby did not suffer . 166 days ago despite my crisis of faith, visceral searing heartache and black depth of loss, I remembered that 3 years , 5 months and 27 days my life changed in a way I could have never seen. I loved more, deeper and honestly than ever before. The sense of true joy and contentment woke up . 1274 days before that black day , God gave dad and I our greatest gift and commitment in this life, he gave us you.The reason I miss you so deeply and actually , the reason I have cried for 166 days straight , is because my son you were loved with every fiber of our beings, unconditionally without restraint or hesitation. You were and still are the child of my dreams , I worked my ass off to conquer my own shit, to grow up and become a person worthy of being a parent and my love  worthy of parenting the awesome and sometimes complicated you . 

Tomorrow starts the holiday season, I am not dreading it but not embracing it either. I know my lover of this season that may disappoint you but son , the wound is still raw. I loved how you hated commercialism or holiday or buying for buying sake. I love how for you a child who searched for us for so long , this connection to holiday plus kick ass birthdays was enough, now stocking was still your favorite part and that you would pace until the first guest :friend family or both would arrive for holiday dinner..That you would eat anything gourmet but wanted stove top stuffing. That family you never took for granted.

This year I still give thanks  to friends and family who have walked along side of Ty and I during this hell on earth. That in 166 day, people we loved and know have given us millions of reasons to continue on, room to grieve and spaces to heal I am thankful that folks let us share your stories with love and no trepidation. I am thankful because my son without you my life would have been less, diminished and always incomplete. While grieving and missing you is a daily struggle please know my child you are the piece that completed and healed moms heart . I am lost without you to be honest but always thankful  you are ours.

miss you you baby

love mom

#nomikeiam not making stovetop

#sleepinblackfriday