I just was recently sent a tweet and re tweeted it about priority never meaning to be plural. In this day and age, ask many folks and there are multiple priorities in their live, their day, their goals. But until the 20th century people did not use priority with a plural as it was meant to signify that one thing, that focus or value was placed on. Everything else was a task or subset of accomplishment to the priority. Much as we have become apathetic in ourselves to violence, we have lost the focus of finding that one thing that takes value in our life. Your priority may change as you do, however if you only make one thing your sole focus, so much else falls in line naturally .
Like me you may have had that multiple prioritize list, but really looking at it how can you give 100% to 3 things, 4 things, 5 things at a time? No matter how the intention, the math does not work. You become frazzled, stressed and the self talk deprecating. But what if we go old school, like the outline we learned to do in 3rd grade? How to highlight our topic and do it well? How to see that one thing, focused on as the end game will lead us to choices that serve us holistically and not compartmentalized.
But Rachel, you say, I have many facets of life. Each has its own priority, thus I have many. Follow me here and its cool, I tell you like a Valium for the brain. The shift is in focus, what you do, each day how does it serve or not serve the one and only one priority in your life at that time.
After mulling this over: right now my biggest priority in life is my family. My partner and son and I how we navigate the world and the people who by blood or choice are threads in our family quilt. After losing both parents so close together, my greatest sadness beside the grief was knowing that I was jack of multiple priorities, master of none. That caused lost time and with them both gone that will never be made up and I have to feel that, mourn that and go on. When my partner began transition, we learned that some family could try, some family could not and some family was too concerned about what others thought to try. We are blessed by so many people that stepped in to support us and create that circle of love for us in our time of loss and transition. My family unit and extended family are where my time and energy need to go. I find myself coveting time and energy with family and if something does not align to support my focus of family, I get pissed and resistant.
How Rachel, though can you ignore other priorities of life? Well here is the beauty, one priority many tasks to achieve it and enjoy it. My inspiration for looking at that single priority and running with it comes from a childhood friend who I lost touch with but with social media have reconnected with. No one childhood is ever perfect but Jenn got dealt a lot of really unfair and shitty hands. With that as you age you go two ways: you either embrace that garbage and have it stunt your spirituality or you rally from it and blossom into beauty. Jenn choose the blossom. She may think I am totally nuts or off base but to me, I see a singularity of focus that has created something wonderful. With her spouse they have created a large family where the priority is family first, not perfection but priority.
They have all the craziness just like everyone with ups and downs in life and the grueling pace of needs of a large, active family.But in all her posts and pictures and world views, it is for her one single purpose, one single idea: take care of the family and your place in the world falls into line. There is a genuine peace about her that was absent in her childhood and I love it. It reminds me that good people still can "win" if you will in a not so kind world.
So how do we remember priority was never meant to be plural? I say write it down in any form you like. But much like a 3rd grade outline of Stuart Little, I am looking at my BIG topic and finding my supportive arguments for it .
MY family is the key to my heart, my health, and my happiness. I choose to put them first in my life !
- Health: without it we cannot thrive. My commitment is to eat well, move more and provide healthy food and activities for my family so we stay well together.
- Work: it provides us with income and for my passion for anti poverty work is a passion and mission we embrace together. My commitment is to be engaged at work to provide for my family but no longer be consumed by it.
- Money: we always have enough , we are lucky. We are not afraid of hard work if we need to be creative in our resources. Our best memories do not involve money. My commitment is to make it and save it for our families needs and future plans but not be side tracked by it.
- Community: once we lose a loved on through death or otherwise, time cannot be re bought until the next life. My family is my tribe that sustains me and I them. My commitment is to create opportunities to connect and remind them of the value we bring together.
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